The issue is never the issue!

Difficult conversations are not difficult because of the content of the conversation but because of the context of the conversation.

The issue is never the issue; the issue is how we show up to the issue. At its essence, our state determines our style, and our style impacts the outcome.

Which of the four states do you most often show up in during difficult conversations?

INVITATION

When preparing for a difficult conversation, don’t start with the script. Start with your state.

1. Connect to your intention

Be clear about what this conversation is in service of. Not what you want to say, but what you want to achieve together.

2. Provide context before content

Help the other person understand why this conversation matters and why it is worth having. Understanding reduces resistance.

3. Then share the content

Be specific. Use examples. Check for shared understanding before moving to action.

When leaders begin by declaring their intention and sharing context, they make it safer for themselves and others to speak their truth.

Before your next difficult conversation, ask yourself: “How do I need to be for this conversation to succeed?”

Truth builds trust. Trust builds relationships. Relationships happen in conversation.

May you flourish.