Be interested, not interesting

In my work with executive teams, I consistently observe leaders showing up in one of two ways: those who strive to be interesting, and those who choose to be interested. The difference in their impact is profound.

I’m not suggesting leaders should never tell and only ask. Leadership requires both advocacy and inquiry. What matters most is intention and the discipline to manage it.

Leaders who try to be interesting often have a seeming need to be heard, seen, and validated. They speak early. They speak often. And without realising it, they limit the thinking in the room.

Leaders who are interested show up differently. They are curious. They listen to understand, not to respond. They recognise the limits of their own perspective and actively seek the insight others hold.

By being interested, they access better thinking, make wiser decisions, and secure deeper commitment. Not because they spoke more but because they understood more.

INVITATION

Observe your tendencies in your next meeting. Notice whether you are:

1. The first to tell

When you feel compelled to share your view, pause. Balance advocacy with inquiry. Ask others what they see before you explain what you see.

2. The first to answer

When a question is asked, resist the urge to answer or solve it immediately. Let others think first. Collaboration begins when we create space for others to contribute.

3. The first to speak

When silence appears, don’t rush to fill it. Stay curious. Understanding grows in listening.

When you speak first, you influence the conversation.

When you listen first, you influence the quality of thinking.

Which kind of influence do you want to be known for?

May you flourish.